Marriage Maintenance

Gentlemen, listen up. This next lesson is vital.

Just because you and your wife have brought a new life into this world doesn't mean your old life is over. That's a very generic statement that could be applied to a million different topics, but today we're discussing marriage maintenance.

Your wife was your whole world. You love her enough to have pledged yourself to her, so when the little one arrives your pledge still holds up. Here are some tips for you to maintain your loving relatioship. To make this fun, we'll use some song lyrics.

1. Counting Flowers on the Wall...Flowers guys. Flowers. There's no better way to have women respect you in a grocery store than to walk around with a bouquet of flowers. If you really want to hear them fall over from shock, tell them (when they ask, bragger) that there's no occassion.
WHAT?!? FLOWERS AT RANDOM?!? WHY, THAT'S JUST INSANE!
Easy baby. Flowers at random tell your wife several things. She's thought of when she's not in the same room with you. That she's appreciated. That you love her. That she's worth stopping on the way home after work, when all you want to do is crash on the couch. See how this works?
Price isn't the problem either. My wife is tickled pink when I buy Kroger bouqets for $5-10. It really is the thought that counts.

2. More Than Words...I always thought that song was about sex. I guess I was pretty immature when it came out. But now I think it was a little more tender than that. I've learned in life that love is a verb, not a noun. It's not the way you feel, its what you do to show her how you feel. And that doesn't have to mean a nice massage, foot rub, dinner and show kind of thing. Maybe it's renting her a movie she's wanted to see (and maybe you didn't.) It might be just cleaning the house when she's beat, because with a baby she will be worn out about 89% of the time. TAKING THE BABY. Just take the baby and play with him, change the diapers, give the baths, give the feedings if you can. Be a helpmate for your helpmate.

The following item is for mature audiences only.

3. I'll Make Love To You...I won't ruin this with personal stories, but I'll say this: Just because you've conceived a child doesn't mean you're done with sex. Your wife needs to feel that she's still attractive. (This won't be a problem, contrary to popular belief when the child is born your wife won't start wearing curlers and muu muus around the house. In fact, you may start finding her more attractive than ever before.) Be patient, after childbirth, it takes a while before your wife will be physically able to have sex.

OK, the kids can come back to the computer now.

I suppose there can be a lot more suggestions here. But remember throughout your marriage to respect your wife and be considerate of her feelings. Especially after childbirth. She'll be more emotional and she'll be more fragile. It's no time for you to let the added stress of a growing family cause you fly off the handle.

Alright, not too funny today, but I think useful.