The Great Cake Mistake

(This Post Contains a High Level of Overdramatic Language and is Not Suitable for Some Viewers. Obvious exaggerations are written in red italics...Reader discretion is advised.)

Saturday morning my dad and I left to pick up the balloons and cake for Aiden's birthday party. We went and had some breakfast at Donita's (2 egg special with city ham...yummy) then went to get the cake.
That's when things went horribly, horribly wrong.
I told them I was there to pick up a cake. They asked my name and went to the back. Then they came out and asked my name again. Then a lady came out and asked what it was we were wanting. I gave her strong details, "a 1/4 sheet, yellow cake decorated like Spongebob Squarepants with 'Happy Birthday Aiden' written on it." She went to a drawer, pulled out a sheet of paper and gulped.
This is when she pulled a knife on me and blamed me for everything. Fighting for pride and the honor of my family, I fought back. I took a couple knicks here and there, but overall I won the fight. With my knee in her back and firm grip on her black hair I demanded she get a cake and decorate it. She agreed.
I told her to take her time, we'd go get the balloons and be back. So we fetched the balloons and came back some 20-25 minutes later. In that time I called Liz to bring her up to speed and raise her heart rate considerably.
This is when Liz flew into a mad rage. She killed the neighbors toy poodle in disgust. When we arrived at the bakery we saw her drenching the building with gasoline (a real waste at 3.09 a gallon) and lighting a Zippo when I pulled her away.
The cake still wasn't ready when we got there, but she was finishing it up. We got charged full price (actually, we had a 20% off coupon) but you would think they'd step up and give us a big discount or some free donuts or something. That kind of disappointed me.
Plus the cake looked just ok. I can't help but to think if she'd have done it when she was supposed to instead of rushing, it would have looked much better.
This is when she surprised me by whipping out a tee ball bat. I didn't see it coming, so she got the first blow. Luckily the steel plate in my head and my Navy S.E.A.L. traning saved the day. A half hour of Jack Bauer level torture later, I paid my bill out of pity for an overmatched opponent.
In the end, the cake was good, the icing too sweet (a preference thing) and the day was just fine. It was a great birthday party and life goes on. But Liz has decided she'll never use that bakery again. I'm letting bygones be bygones and not saying their name on here. I don't want to trash them over an honest mistake.
But I am suing them for the cuts I got in the initial knife fight. Turns out I got a punctured spleen that caused some pretty bad problems. My superhuman healing ability kept me from dying, but I still feel I am owed some compensation. I'll be visiting the law offices of Flora Templeton Stuart this afternoon to see what is coming to me.