A Silver Lining's Got a Touch of Gray

When we decided to finally finish with our project of painting the kitchen, Aiden was so enthused he just had to help. In true Ty Pennington style, he grabbed a roller and got to work helping my primer the walls.

We painted them a nice red color which really changed the look of the room. Previously it had two types of wallpaper.

Recent parenting thought: This is no more original than it is profound, but for correction to be effective, it simply must be consistent. Any of us can think back and identify some parents who are struggling to keep their children from going ape-like. And we can also remember parents like that who only bother discilpining their children when they got angry.

It doesn't work folks. You've got to do it when it's wrong. Regardless of whether you may think it's funny, infuriating, or whatever. Consistency is key.

Cutie-Pi-Slamma Jamma

For those of you who don't get the "Cutie-Pi-Slamma-Jamma" reference, it harkens back to the University of Houston's basketball team from 1982-1984. That team featured Clyde "The Glide" Drexler and Hakeem Olajuwon (both NBA All Time Greats.)
Aiden is a junior member of the fraternity.

The Great Cake Mistake

(This Post Contains a High Level of Overdramatic Language and is Not Suitable for Some Viewers. Obvious exaggerations are written in red italics...Reader discretion is advised.)

Saturday morning my dad and I left to pick up the balloons and cake for Aiden's birthday party. We went and had some breakfast at Donita's (2 egg special with city ham...yummy) then went to get the cake.
That's when things went horribly, horribly wrong.
I told them I was there to pick up a cake. They asked my name and went to the back. Then they came out and asked my name again. Then a lady came out and asked what it was we were wanting. I gave her strong details, "a 1/4 sheet, yellow cake decorated like Spongebob Squarepants with 'Happy Birthday Aiden' written on it." She went to a drawer, pulled out a sheet of paper and gulped.
This is when she pulled a knife on me and blamed me for everything. Fighting for pride and the honor of my family, I fought back. I took a couple knicks here and there, but overall I won the fight. With my knee in her back and firm grip on her black hair I demanded she get a cake and decorate it. She agreed.
I told her to take her time, we'd go get the balloons and be back. So we fetched the balloons and came back some 20-25 minutes later. In that time I called Liz to bring her up to speed and raise her heart rate considerably.
This is when Liz flew into a mad rage. She killed the neighbors toy poodle in disgust. When we arrived at the bakery we saw her drenching the building with gasoline (a real waste at 3.09 a gallon) and lighting a Zippo when I pulled her away.
The cake still wasn't ready when we got there, but she was finishing it up. We got charged full price (actually, we had a 20% off coupon) but you would think they'd step up and give us a big discount or some free donuts or something. That kind of disappointed me.
Plus the cake looked just ok. I can't help but to think if she'd have done it when she was supposed to instead of rushing, it would have looked much better.
This is when she surprised me by whipping out a tee ball bat. I didn't see it coming, so she got the first blow. Luckily the steel plate in my head and my Navy S.E.A.L. traning saved the day. A half hour of Jack Bauer level torture later, I paid my bill out of pity for an overmatched opponent.
In the end, the cake was good, the icing too sweet (a preference thing) and the day was just fine. It was a great birthday party and life goes on. But Liz has decided she'll never use that bakery again. I'm letting bygones be bygones and not saying their name on here. I don't want to trash them over an honest mistake.
But I am suing them for the cuts I got in the initial knife fight. Turns out I got a punctured spleen that caused some pretty bad problems. My superhuman healing ability kept me from dying, but I still feel I am owed some compensation. I'll be visiting the law offices of Flora Templeton Stuart this afternoon to see what is coming to me.

Birthday Party!!

Aiden's 2nd birthday party was a big success. We had a good number including several kids. Aiden had a blast and we all really appreciated everyone coming and making it a big day for him. Here's a couple pictures we snapped. A lot of our pictures were with the 35mm, so I only got a few on the digital.

This picture's a little dim, but here's Aiden with his Spongbob Squrepants balloon and Spongebob Squarepants cake. (not in picture, Spongebob Squarepants plate, napkin, cakeplate, and paper cup.)

Hard to get everyone in frame when they're spread out.

Aiden playing blocks with Uncle David.

Two Year Appointment with Doc

Aiden went to see his pediatrician today for his two year check-up. (Birthday party is tomorrow, pictures forthcoming). His doctor assures us Aiden is perfectly healthy and normal. A boy that lives on chicken nuggets and various fruits and cereals is apparently a heatlhy boy. Good to know.

His official measurements:
34 inches high
29 pounds
50 cm

(FYI, I think his length measurement is a bit off. She didn't get square on top of his head. When I laid him out there I found him to be almost an inch longer than measured. So take that for what it's worth.)

Thanks to God that Aiden is healthy, safe and secure.

The Olive Garden Incident

Liz is grimacing as she reads this, I guarantee it. But something happened Sunday night that I just can't let go. It's a condemnation of society of sorts.

We were at an Olive Garden in Nashville having dinner. Me, Liz, Aiden, Aiden's uncle David and his aunt Ester. When the pudgy couple at the table next to us emits a faint f-bomb. As Ralphy on "A Christmas Story" would say, she said the queen mother of all dirty words.

I didn't hear the first one clear. The second f-bomb I thought I heard. By the fourth one I was certain. So I morph into SuperDad.

I say, "Excuse me," as I approach the table, "but would you mind watching your language? I have a two year old son over here."

Mrs. Pudgy replies, "OH I'M SOOOOO SORRY!"

That's honestly what her reply was and it was dripping with a heavy dose of sarcasm. I thought I had been magically transported back to a third grade put down contest. I said thank you and walked away.

To my surprise, they actually stopped the cursing. But when we got to our car after dinner, they had left a note. And it read, "Maybe if your whiney son hadn't ruined our dinner we wouldn't have used such foul language."

This is where I get angry.
1) It's never, ever ok to use foul language around a child. If you're not a Christian, Catholic, Jehovah's Witness or Buddhist, I don't really care. But if you have sense enough to form words with your mouth, then you've got enough sense not to use that language around kids.

2) Aiden wasn't whiny this night. There have been nights when I wouldn't blame someone for saying something like that (well, not too much) but that night he was very good. And he was very quiet.

3) They weren't cussing because of Aiden. It's just part of their vernacular. It was everyday conversation for the Pottymouth Pudgies of Nashville, Tenn. So don't dare blame my son for your lack of class.

4) Say it to me. I know that sounds sophomoric. But honestly I wouldn't have minded them saying it to me if I would have had the opportunity to embarrass them publicly like they deserved. That's not revenge. Their behavior SHOULD have embarrassed them. It didn't. So I wanted the opportunity to fulfill karma a bit.

5) Whiny isn't spelled with an "e". I didn't know that until I just spellchecked it, but nevertheless.

There, I feel a bit better.

ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!

A mere 15 days after Halloween, I have finally gotten Aiden's Halloween pictures on the blog. And they say I'm lazy.

This was a really special Halloween because it was the first time Aiden went trick or treating. He took to it like a duck to water. He didn't quite master his annunciation of "trick or treat" but he did remember most times to say thank you after getting candy.

The Not-So-Cowardly Lion, Aiden

Aiden's Buddy Carter was a cute, if not menacing, pirate.
Aiden's first Reece's Peanut Butter Cup. It lasted three bites. Lion's have big bites, you see.

So Aiden's first trick or treating Halloweeen was a great success. The only bummer was it being on a Wednesday night so we had to cut things short in order to get ready for church services that night.

His first Halloween candy was a Hershey's Kiss. Then the peanut butter cup. Then the sugar infused fit that follwed me telling him that was enough candy before church. Ah the joys of parenting.